In my novel, I'm plotting against you all.
White People: The Middle East is so barbaric. They’ll cut off a person’s hand just for stealing!
White People when an unarmed black kid is murdered by police in America: Yeah, but he shoplifted some cigarillos, so…
(via abloodyapple)@1 day ago with 51072 notes
There is no greater joy than watching your brother open his birthday gift. And by “watch” I mean cackle as he struggles to rip off the ten layers of packing tape used to wrap the first layer, only to scream at the realization that there are another 20 layers of wrapping paper and packing tape to work through.
THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO GIVE ME A FRENCH FRY-HOLDER, YOU SON OF A BITCH.@1 day ago with 1 note